Boundaries...learn them and set them.

Boundaries has been my most frequent used word for 2020. My tolerance has been tested for years but I have finally found ways to protect myself. I simply say wtf needs to be said. Now, that usually results in me being the bad guy but I hold the title with style and grace. Not everything can be said with sugar coated words and heart emojis. I hand it to you straight. 

Taking full of advantage of being a grown ass woman, I can dictate what I chose to entertain. Example, my family are all at a distance so I receive weekly phone calls of new antics. I begin to notice my lack of concern or interest with certain topics. I took note of my anxiety levels when conversing about specific members or memories. I also noted the lasting affect it would have on me after the call whether I was hurt or irritated. I'm extremely family orientated and was left to deal with matters alone. So now I shuts it down and without hesitation. "Hey hey hey.... I don't want to talk about that " or "I'm going to remove myself from this portion of the conversation". Because I can't allow my peace to be disturbed. 

The same goes with my friends, my home, my job and my business. I have set cute little boundaries for everything and everybody, even my elders. Its all in how you do things. Thankfully, I have a foundation of loved ones that respect my wishes and was willing to adjust to my new set of perimeters.  We don't realize what issues people carry with us in silence, empaths. We also don't register what we voluntarily tote for people that was never intended for us to begin with. Set your boundaries. Become aware of your breathing, mood changes, and vibrations when people or topics are surfacing. I also advise that you're conscious of what you speak and give to others. Balance.  

Your friend doesn't want to continue to hear about the same issues with your mans. She loves you and has given sound advice plenty of times that you're not ready to put to use. That's fine but she's tired girl. Do something about it or hush because it could be affecting the people around you. 

You don't like that your sister brings up old family dirt, tell her. "Sis, I understand that you may need to talk this out however, I can't continue to engage in conversation about this. It hurts me as well and I don't have an outlet to release it on my end".

Say wtf needs to be said. 

Jo